Metacognition: Poetry Process

I put the packet that had multiplied in size since the preliminary stages of the damn poem on the table and, as cliché as it sounds, felt the weight lift off of my shoulders. As much as I liked poetry, it didn't exactly feel like my best of friends while I was had been sitting at the keyboard over the last several weeks, struggling for the right words.

What I believe the most difficult part to be is that I don't feel like I ever found them until I was in a frenzy to finish the thing! I have read all of my life, I have spoken to adults, and I communicate every second of every single day, even if that communication is internal. But it took a "frenemy" (a combination of friend and enemy) relationship with my poem in order for me to truly understand the power that words can really have. I keep revisiting that moment where I realized I had gone about this process totally and utterly incorrectly, where I felt overwhelmed by how much I had left to do. That moment was sitting one-on-one with my English teacher, something I wish I had done much sooner.

I had come to the last ten minutes of English class that day in order to receive feedback on a draft that I had revised significantly since the previous edition. I felt like I had expressed myself much more clearly than in previous versions of the poem, and I was hoping--and expecting--my English teacher to feel the same way.  

Wrong again.

When I received the poem, my eyes flew to the boxed in "C" in the bottom left hand corner. It felt like what three letters later in the alphabet stood for. I was clearly way too focused on the grade, and not about leanring how to write poetry or developing a voice separate from that of the "pseudo-scholar." When I brought myself up to being able to read his comments, I was, quite expectedly, dragged down by them. Apparently, I had tried to reach this uber-philosophical tone in my writing that just wasn't me. Okay, Mr. Allen. (Before your grade me down on this blog for the previous sentences, please read below.)

This shift to really caring about the writing, not the letter boxed in at the bottom-left, occurred in the moments described in the next paragraph. While I am glad I did eventually make that shift, it had come a draft too late.

Probably one of the greatest things that has ever been said to me by a teacher, in all seriousness, was at the lowest point of the conference I had with Mr. Allen. He told me that a Russian short story-writer used the technique of having an elaborate backstory for his characters that allowed him to have a lot more "fun" and enjoy greater liberties when it came to developing the story based on their stories. He, Mr. Allen, was under the impression that I was unfamiliar with my character. That couldn't be possible, I told myself, I am my character. It sucked to admit it, but Mr. Allen was absolutely under the correct impression that I didn't know my character, or myself for that matter. This long process wasn't one of completely finding a "new and enhanced me" so much as it was about finding a new and enhanced poetic voice.

I had always been the kind of writer to sit down and just start writing. "Writers write to decide what they are going to write about" was just a track that wouldn't stop playing in my head as I sat down at the keyboard for the last time to recreate this philosophical crap. It took me until the very end of the process to simply write, keeping my future self and my character's life in mind, until  I could finally say what I wanted and to say without stumbling over every word of every line. I was surprised that just by knowing my character, and adjusting my wording and format of the piece, I could write with a much greater effectiveness than in any previous drafts. For the first time in the entire process, I actually liked writing the poem.

Thank you Mr. Allen.

Metacognition: A Tribute to Aristotle

Blog 7

There's something that only those closest to me know, and that is that I am very organized in
some literal and figurative areas of my life, while quite the opposite in some others. They also
know that I am a persistent person; this persistence often works backwards and inhibits me
from getting things done that I dread or work half-heartedly at.
                                                                   
Naturally, cleaning my room and straightening up my living space is one of those things.
                                                                         ***
I sauntered down the stairs, at what was for me mid-morning, and was greeted by the lovely
sound of my mother's furious fingers tidying up tidbits of our scattered lives around the kitchen
and living room in preparation for the five additional members of family we were hosting for
the long-awaited Thanksgiving feast. I had a few minutes of bliss before she urged me to do the
same. I had no problem with it! I wanted our house to look nice just as badly as she did and I
was fully emerged in the cleaning spirit...right up until the point when she asked me to clean my
room. It's so dumb! I thought. They won't even go up there. As mothers often do, she won that
argument.
                                                                          ***
As I trudged back up the staircase, I just felt as if I was staring up at a mountain (and I'm
not referencing the one of clothes in my closet) and only had an hour and a half to get up it.
I entered and I was fully immersed in the feeling of hopelessness. I was the master of hiding
knock-knacks in the strangest and best-thought-out places ever, never thinking about the next
time that I would have to do what I was suppose to be doing at that very moment. It wasn't that I
didn't like my room clean. I loved it clean! It just never stayed that way.

I was well into the process of tidying up when I remembered that I had to do this anyway for this
very blog post. Finally, a teacher had us do something practical! Yes, that was the extent of my
dynamic thinking during this exercise.

Haha, just kidding. I continued bustling about and found my mind actually to be much less
restless. (Let me reiterate this point, I love a clean room and living space!) In retrospect, I
might even go as far as to say that my mind actually imitated the new appearance of my room-
-compartmentalized, clear, and at rest. There was no pile or collection of miscellaneous items
lurking in either important space, nothing left out and unresolved.

Here's what I have to say to Aristotle: sometimes I feel like some of the loose items that end up
cluttering my floor or a piece of furniture used as storage space, like I don't belong or need to
be put back into its proper setting. I highly doubt that I am the only one to get this sense of not
belonging or bing out of place. But as is true in both nature and in our minds, there is a set order
and we have the ability to control it. As was clear while cleaning my room, I figure out that we
can easily manipulate things that positively affect that order. I was negatively affected and felt
mentally uncomfortable when my room appeared disheveled. On the other hand, I felt a sense of
satisfaction and gain after doing what I dread. I think that this concept of manipulating aspects
of the order, even if we dread or fear that manipulation at the time, is a highly transferable skill
to academics, athletics, the good of society, and much more. After all, I believe or capacity to
change ourselves and our surroundings is most amazing and formidable gits with which we were
endowed.

Metacognition: Orlando Essay

One of the hardest essays I have had to write, up until that point in time at least, was the Orlando essay. Being one who loves structured and direction, I struggled with the synthesis of ideas and putting them down on a piece of paper. I usually don't have this problem, but I can now recall some flaws in my thinking that made my writing process more difficult.

The Denial
All too often, I find myself not believing or disliking that I have to do something difficult. In some convoluted way, I attach a stigma to the task at hand, which causes me to go into the process with a "glass half empty" sort of mindset. This certainly proved itself most when writing the first draft of this essay. I didn't feel like I had a very strong or clever idea in the first place, so I was even more reluctant to sit down in front of the keyboard.

The Communication
It was still relatively early in the year, and I didn't quite feel the level of comfort with asking questions as I do now. With that being said, a correction to the completion of e assignment, which mostly would have cleared up the blurriness of the whole things, would just have been to ask my teacher a question a two about my idea and layout fro the essay in its preliminary stages.

The Idea Itself
In relation to the communication disconnect, the development of the idea was also a contributing factor to the paper's lack of success. I believe that I should have delved deeper into the text and messages of the story in order to find a better claim. The claim should have been an idea that was present throughout the entire story, not just a symbol at the end of the book that I had to stretch too thin to fit my paper, not my paper fit it.

What I did like about my idea was that it was original and that it did connect to a symbol at the end of the book which other classmates of mine had many questions about. In a perfect world, I would have been able to start from scratch and use a new claim entirely. To begin with, I thought it was clever, but what I would change (given my stage in the writing process at the time of the writing process) is my support for my claim. I don't think that the support was entirely relevant, so I think that with some more time, communication, and a little bit less denial, my essay could have turned out better than it did and more how I envisioned it.

Blogging Around--Julia Kahn Critique

Julia Kahn--iMedia: A Mí Me Encanta La Música Extranjera


Julia,

First of all, I think this is a really interesting post and particularly fascinating post to me because I have also found myself thinking about music from many different angles. Like you, I have really begun to analyze music, lyrics in particular (thanks to the analytical skills the Academy has developed for me), and have noticed how shallow they sometimes are. If I were to single out one particular pop artist, then T-Swift would be the most guilty culprit for this, but other artists, not just in the pop genre I don't think, are also to blame. 

Interestingly enough, they only supply what we demand, thus shedding light on a superficial and shallow side of our society. When I choose to be analytical of music, I tend to focus primarily elements of poetic and literary elements discussed in class: how the content is reflected in the form, the beat, the equivalent of line length, and diction to name a few. I think that we would agree with each other if I said that popular music and that which is regarded as "hip" is lagging in some of these categories.
Be that as it may, I think it is also important the music is also something that I turn to to escape analysis that I do 24/7. In that respect, music for so many is a happy-go-lucky, uplifting form of entertainment that people choose to listen to for the very reason that they think they can do it mindlessly, even though it is ironic that people choose to listen to music they pick, and therefore critique, meaning that it can't be as mindless as they think it to be. Anyways, it is important to recognize that our level of analysis of music is very dependent on one's mood and phase in life (at least for me it is) as was the case for your Hannah Montana example. With that being said, music that delves deep into the world's problems or provokes incredibly deep thoughts is often what people, quite deliberately, avoid. 

Ultimately, music is another form of art, thus something that is subject to personal opinion and preference, and and also something that is not worth getting into a heated and often circular argument over. After all, it's all about "what tickles your fancy", as they say. :)

Blogging Around--Andy Han Critique

Andy Han--An Inconvenient Truth: My Dream Might Not Come True

President Han,

As I sit in my kitchen responding to your blog post, I can't help but feel an incredible swell of emotions, thanks to your blog post. You have absolutely touched on a topic that is very moving and relatable to so many kids our age, with bright futures especially, who look at what's to come, and realize that the dream they have decided to pursue, and the tumultuous and turbulent journey to get there, is seemingly insurmountable.

The Format

Not only am I extremely impressed with the drive and determination (that will carry you far) to reach your ultimate dream of attending a very prestigious medical school and seeking out a tough profession, but I am also impressed with your voice as a writer. I don't recall needing to do this for many pieces if literature, blog posts especially, but here it goes: I couldn't read your post--not because I didn't have time or my computer wasn't functioning--but because such strong a voice is something that can't be comprehended with the eyes. That's why I really had to hear what you were saying, not move my eyes over your words. We have talked a lot about a piece of writing's voice, in addition to how form=content (emphasized especially in our poetry unit and beginning our reading of The Tragedy of King Lear). The way you structured this post is so similar to the dynamic nature of your speech that I couldn't help but think to myself while I was reading that this is just...so Andy! You expressed a deeply meaningful message with your sense of humor which made what you had to say resonate even more with someone like me. It was a wonderful demonstration of what kind of skills Mr. Allen looks for in our writing, in my opinion at least.

The Lesson

As I stated earlier, I was really amazed at how well you put your thoughts into words and how relatable it all seemed, even if I don't have much of an interest in attending Northwestern Medical School and later becoming a doctor. In addition, I like how you led us to the end of the post and then threw "That's my life. Passion. Destiny." in our faces (or ears more accurately) to leave us pondering the significance and putting a cap on everything you previously said. 

For the nature if the assignment, I love this post! Nice job!

An Inconvenient Truth: Hardwiring of Our Brains

I think that I might quit analysis of the human psyche and influences of our personalities if the words nature vs. nurture pop into my head next to each other one more time. Whether I like it or not, I am always thinking about it, even if it is in my subconscious, and it drives me so far up the wall that I feel like might crash into the ceiling. While the answer isn't discovered through experience or even by oneself, there has to be something about the question that addicts and maddens people on a vivacious cycle. So, what is it?

Something I find interesting about this question is the way the main purpose of its contemplation and embarking on a mental quest for its answer is also the very reason why the answer is undiscoverable. Exercising mentally on this treadmill is fatiguing, so let's take a break, shall we? Let's think that nature--something poems and literature this year have told us is the all-powerful, infallible last word on all things human--represents the all-powerful, infallible last word on all things human. If we were to let ourselves say this, would we be so far off?

Unfortunately, or at least in my opinion, the answer to which we let ourselves ask is--drumroll please--no. I say "unfortunately" because as much as we like to believe that our surroundings have an equal if not greater influence over us, we can only vary slightly, not typically reverse, natural thoughts and tendencies which were pre-determined. We fancy having freedom and being self-reliant, independent entities and mavericks. I, only being human myself, fall victim to these same patterns. As a matter or fact, I think that thinking these things has a bit of a placebo effect on us and does allow us to change ourselves (however, the degree of that change is blown significantly out of proportion). The inconvenient truth of this inconvenient truth blog post is that we are bound by, governed, and dependent upon the parameters which nature has put in place since the first steps of mankind were taken; that's just how it has been, is, and that's just how it's going to be.

My health teacher likes to say: "egg, sperm, shazam!" She gets me every time! But when I find myself truly considering the idea of conception, I don't think about the visual she so kindly provides. On the contrary, I don't even think about a physical being in the slightest, but I picture a hand, drawing out the roadmaps to our lives based on those related to us in all sorts of ways. So how do we defy fate? Well, it's the wrong turns take at the stoplights that The Hand has placed in our way. Those are the money's we live for and they're what makes us distinguishable from one another. But when all is said and done, I find that our tires find a way back to the sidestreets with no outlet, or the interstates that take you into infinity and purposelessness. I don't like it any more than you do, but too many of us have to admit that it is true.

iMedia: Did You Know 2011-Welcome to the Social Media Revolution
Did You Know 2011 - Welcome To The Social Media Revolution

We don't have a choice on whether we do social media, the question is how well we do it."

              -Erik Qualman

Being a Facebook, Twitter, and hardcore Google and web browser myself, I  consider myself to be a pretty "wired- in” kid. Before I continue, I must let you know that this isn't something I consider a good thing. However, there are people who are older, younger, fatter, skinnier, smarter, less intelligent, Caucasian, and different ethnicities than myself who far exceed my degree of being "wired-in." And they don't even realize what's happening to their minds as a resul (and nor do I mine)t.

As everybody who is dependent on technology and social media, to such an extreme degree that they often don't even realize it's integration into the framework of their minds, is alerted by our peers of the dangers it presents and challenges that even more technologically dependent future generations will face, we barely even understand these statistics, nevertheless consider alternatives and solutions to the technology and social media pandemic which tightens its grip with every tweet, google search, post to Instagram, and Facebook status update. 

However, by comparing apples to apples instead of apples and oranges in this video, I was able to better understand the true volume and effect that technology and social media has on our lives after watching this video. For example, the video presented a chart early on which compared the number of posts on Facebook to the number of Google searches, as opposed to relating number of zfacebook posts to a very big number. This absolutely connected to me because when think about the number of Google searches I make relative to the number of times I post in Facebook or "Like" someone else's status, I can truly understand how these statistics portray themselves in my life and those of people around me, even though I may not even recognize their presence every time I launch my Facebook application. Because I can understand the effect that technology and social media has on my life through comparisons like those in the video instead of  lectures from experts and teachers that go in one ear and out the other, I am sure that it means more to other people too than arbitrary statistics.

By no means will anyone going to relax the tight grip that technology and social media have on our global society in the near future; technological dominance, especially through social media's prevalence is just the "spirit of the age," as one wise author and biographer once said, referring to behavior of people in a certain period of time. On the other hand, if we are able to comprehend to a greater extent, as a society, the control and role that this particular form of media plays in our lives, we might be able to reverse some of the negative effects that it has taken on our social skills, communication abilities, and intellectual strength that we once had. I think the "exponential effects" that the video refers to not only apply to technology and social media dominance in our culture, but also some of its reversal. 

It'll be good for us; it'll be, at last, something that isn't google-able.

Best of Week: The [Internal] Battle of the Sexes

In class this week, we continued our discussion of Orlando. In the book, the character Orlando underwent its sexual transformation from a male to a female. We came to the conclusion, as a class, that Woolf has much to say about the roles of each gender in society and how we distinguish between sex and gender. Although the discussion became heated at times, many great ideas and important opinions stemmed from the discussion and, for me, ended up giving me a better understanding of Woolf's words.

Of all the things that were said in class, however, there was one point, or question rather, that truly snatched my attention.  "Does every person have [to some degree] a little bit of the opposite gender in them?" I don't think that the question or comment itself was incredibly insightful, but in the context of this book, it was the simplest and one of the most thought-provoking summations of the character I've heard thus far. It was pretty early in the week, so knowing the debates it sparked and the questions and insights that ensued, I would say that this verifies my opinions of its importance.

From the chemical and neurological level to the emotional and "doing" part of our lives, I would say that all of us have some tendencies of the opposite sex. For example, I do my best to be an emotionally attuned and perceptive person. Does this make me more of a woman or simply a better man (or boy, or whatever...you know what I mean)? At the moment, my mother is the primary breadwinner in our household. Does this make her less womanly or my father more feeble? I should think most certainly not. But personal opinions aside, what does society's collective consciousness have to say abou the matter? It would probably say that I'm more gay than the next guy or that my dad isn't strong enough to support our household (when it's really quite the contrary) or that my mother should be home physically putting dinner on the table (despite the fact that she's doing so financially). 
As my English teacher pointed out, in the current day and age, the line—as straight as society's ideal man or woman—that separates the two sexes is becoming a bit less defined. Even though he used the example of walking into a clothing store and not being able to tell which side of the store had men's or women's clothes, I think that this still deems true for many parts of our lives, my family's "breadwinning" situation included.

In the world we live in, I have observed for quite some time now, that everybody has at least little bit of the "other" in them, no matter how masculine a man is or how feminine the woman is. But we have been told, most likely not verbally, that it is how well we suppress these tendencies that defines how sexually pure we are. I think this a bit backward, don't you? According to Orlando, in Orlando, having tendencies of the other sex actually helps us understand and respect that sex more than we might have otherwise. "'Lord! Lord!' she cried again at the conclusion of  her thoughts, 'must I then begin to respect the opinions of the other sex, however monstrous I think it? If I wear skirts, if I can swim, I have to be rescued by a blue-jacket, by God!' she cried, 'I must!'" (115).

I think that it's safe to say that after this week's round of discussion, we all revised our thoughts, to some extent, about what the characteristics of each sex are. I don't know about everyone else, but I went even further to question how tendencies of the opposite sex portray themselves in my life and in the lives of others around me. This provoked the following question: what if everybody were just a little bit more aware of similarities instead of differences? And even if we did notice the differences, how would the world change if people were more accepting of them? At the moment, I'm not completely sure of the answer. But I'll let you know how it goes when I try it.

Carry it Forward: No Man is an Island

No Man is an Island--by John Donne

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee. 

While reading and discussing Orlando this week, I began to think back to poem read among my first days in Academy as a freshman, called No Man is an Island. In the face of rejection by a woman, Orlando in turn rejects the world and retreats back within his own thoughts and words on a page, thus not making himself a "piece of the larger continent, / A part of the main." The fictional character's isolation, and his resulting emotions and insights, made me think hard about what it means to be truly alone and how, if possible, we can incorporate these loners into the larger continent and become part of the main.

High school is no easy place, nor is any school truthfully. Oftentimes I see my peers surrounding themselves with large groups of friends, maybe with whom they may not even be that close, in order to secure their self-esteem. When I see it in passing, hear about it in conversations, and am assaulted as I sense the fickle nature of "friendship" as I walk through a group of mere acquaintances, I can't help but think that what they anchor their security in is the equivalent to a stack of cards or a piece of land where deep fault lines run to and fro, waiting to separate from the larger mass at any point.

 

Yes, I sound bitter and critical toward the norm of our society. That's accurate because I am at certain points. Do I have these particular thoughts EVERY time I walk through a hallway or hear a conversation? Truthfully, the answer is no. However, as I think about my role in a group, which requires me to do the same about the other members of the group, whatever that group that may be, I am constantly trying to estimate to what degree people actually feel a part of that group. After all, that is all a group is: a perception of the degrees of human relationships with others somehow spun so that everybody has a connection with each other, leaving no man or woman, girl or boy, to be an island. 

The dynamic of a group aside, all I wish is for people to be able to experience the love and care that I have been so graciously granted most of my life. I may be saying this with the basis that I don't have a surplus of friends or a multitude of people with whom I can party on every weekend as opposed to what I do have –a small network of people on whom I can depend and act as my hand and footholds as I climb over the many obstacles which life will place in front of me. I have people that every eye contact we make, every word we share, and every moment we spend with one another has a value so great that one couldn't possibly do its nature justice with words, but only by means of laughter and smiles. In hopes of spreading this attractive friendship and wealth of relation to other people, I long ago vowed to myself, and encourage others to do so as well, to involve stragglers dangling off of society's coast to become contributors to the massive and always-growing landmass of relationships. With this in mind, I feel as if I will be landlocked for the rest of my life.